8 years ago
Friday, April 3, 2009
To Sleepover or Not to Sleepover...
Just a random rambling about something I have been thinking about lately...Spencer has really been asking alot lately about participating in sleepovers. We haven't really had to deal with this until more recently. When we lived in Kanab there was a "late night" standard that most of our friends all agreed on. Our kids could get together and have a fun night but go home for bed. It worked great. However, as kids get older they think more and more that they need to have the same rules as "everyone" else. I found a great article from LDS Living that states just how we feel toward sleepovers. Just click on this post title if you'd like to read it. I would love any input y'all might have as to how you deal with this issue, no matter what side of the fence you are on. I don't want anyone to think that I don't trust them or their kids but I strongly feel like it is our responsibility to protect our kids and their innocence. It's just another one of those times when the few are making it harder for the many. I loved sleepovers. I grew up in a small town where sleepovers were the norm and we slept outside all summer long. We never had any issues. But the world is not the same place and I have heard so many horror stories. My inclination is to assume boys don't need as much "protection". But they do. I hate this side of parenting. The fear and apprehension. Feeling like I can't let my guard down for a second. I started having more specific stranger-danger conversations with Spencer two years ago and have reiterated them every six months or so since. Now it's coming up on Benji's turn. At least we have a couple more years before the big one...and that is all Gary's. Sorry I've been rambling and thanks for taking the time to try and decipher my blithering.
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3 comments:
OK, my kids aren't old enough for sleepovers yet, so I haven't had to say anything except no! But we were talking about this at work the other day- the "protecting their innocence" thing, and I totally agree, but at the same time, we get too protective and they miss out on being kids in some ways. Just the other day I got a call from Gage's teacher telling me he had "threatened another childs life" WHAT?!!!! He had made the throat slitting gesture to another kid...excuse me? Did you not do that to some kid who was driving you nuts when you were a kid? I just think it's pretty ridiculous when children aren't allowed to be kids...BUT- I don't know when I'll let my kids do the sleepover thing or if I will either. That's a tough one for me more because I don't like that my children are imposing on another family and their family time...does that sound dumb? I think we need to trust our own children- really they just want to be kids, right?
We have a "no sleepover" policy. I don't think that this rule has hurt or will perminatly damage any of our girls. When they know that it is the rule from the get go they just accept it. They are our children and the Lord has entrusted us to do what we feel is best for them. We are blessed to have the gift of the Holy Ghost to help us make such decisions as a couple.
I was a good kid and I had good friends but the "pack mantality" comes into play at sleepovers. Things happened for me that shouldn't of and as a child you feel great fear and anxiety when trying to "be strong" when you are in someone else's home especially late at night. And besides that, it really is a different world we live in. I think that the many "sexual" problems in the world right now are everywhere...more than any of us know. And unlike times past, these dangers are easily accessed in the home both by tv, and the internet (even with wonderful parents). It is just too easy. I have learned many times that you can only know as much about a person as they let you know. And people don't show their "deamons", so to speak.
There is simply too much danger that I see, it isn't worth the possible good that can come out of sleepovers. 3 parts good, 2 parts bad...those odds aren't acceptible to me especially when I have complete control over whether it happens or not. And even with this rule, I don't think my I am TOO overprotective or that my children will be lacking in any way. Actually, I feel quite opposite, it is my job to be the leader in our home and I will do my best to teach our children what is right, let them have lots of good fun, and guide them through this crazy world as best I can.
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